Al Haramain - Al Khaleej Cup

Don't be disillusioned by the uplifting citrus opening of Al Haramain’s ‘Al Khaleej Cup’, beneath the freshness lurks an unsanitary musk which develops an hour later. 'Al Khaleej Cup' becomes the worst fragrance I’ve ever smelt.

The 30ml oil is a glistening Disney-villain shade of emerald green, but stinks like the stale body odour of a decrepit taxi-driver, mixed with sexualised genitals, lead pencils and pine toilet air-freshener. At first, I thought the fragrance had been pre-used by some dirty, filthy man, as it has the personal stank of an unknown stranger. Now my skin smells like it belongs to someone else, someone who sweated whilst having rutting sex 3-5 hours ago and hasn’t washed since. It’s unadulterated Arabian sex-musk. The B.O element is super spicy, aged and yellowed upon the armpits of a creased white shirt. It’s the aroma of neglected and festering student bedsheets. It’s pure post-sex testicular sack. No amount of artificial pine nor the random scent of sharpened HB pencil tips can improve this carnal depravity born of pubic folds.

It’s worth getting, just to see how ludicrously spot-on my description is. I really hope that my batch is off. In a fragrance development brainstorming meeting, no-one ever suggests “sweaty testicles... sweasticles! Like last year’s hanging basket.”

TOP - Aldehyde, Floral, Fresh

MIDDLE - Floral, Rose, Geranium, Orris

BASE - Cypriol, Sandalwood, Agarwood, Cedarwood